I've been debating for the past couple of days about how personal I want to make my blog. While writing this right now, I don't even know if I will post it. Part of me wants to, but another part is afraid of what people may think and what I may think of myself after writing it.
My brother, Drew, was born with epilepsy, cerebral palsy and mental retardation. He is now 30, but has the mind of a 6 year old. We have such a...strange relationship. While I absolutely HATE seeing him have a seizure or be embarrassed by something, I sometimes don't treat him as well as I could. It's kind of always been a relationship where I try and protect and guard him from things that may hurt him, or to keep him out of situations that will end badly, even if he doesn't know why. Basically, I can tease my brother and annoy him, but no one else can.
Then the other day, out of nowhere, I had a mini epiphany. What if the teasing or annoying that I do is worse than what a stranger would do or has done? What if I've made him feel worse than anything in the world? I am sure I have and I regret that immensely. But it can be really hard sometimes; trying to reconcile his physical age and his mental age, and find a happy medium, and to not dwell on what he could have been or what he would be like if he was 'normal'. It is just so confusing, and difficult. And this has always been a problem of mine. But, I guess like anything, I need to take baby steps and keep in mind how the things I do or say effect him differently than they do me. He never hesitates to say I love you, or ask how my day was. And sometimes I can go a whole day without talking to him, not necessarily on purpose, but just because I don't go out of my way to say hi.I blame myself, partly, for the relationship my little sister has with him. I think she is just confused by all of it and she never talks about it, so I really don't know what her thoughts could possibly be. And it's especially difficult because she had a completely different experience growing up with him than I did, so I can't really compare her feelings, thoughts and questions to what my feelings and thoughts and questions were when I was her age.
So from here on out I am changing my ways. It may seem different and odd at the beginning, but hopefully me and Drew will get to a place where we have an excellent and much improved relationship. And maybe, by example, my sister can see how things should have always been.
Monday, August 30, 2010
Second Book of the Week
Book of the Week: Faithful Place, by Tana French
Back in 1985, Frank Mackey was nineteen, growing up poor in Dublin's inner city, and living crammed into a small flat with his family on Faithful Place. But he had his sights set on a lot more. He and Rosie Daly were all ready to run away to London together, get married, get good jobs, break away from factory work and poverty and their old lives. But on the winter night when they were supposed to leave, Rosie didn't show. Frank took it for granted that she'd dumped him-probably because of his alcoholic father, nutcase mother, and generally dysfunctional family. He never went home again. Neither did Rosie. Everyone thought she had gone to England on her own and was over there living a shiny new life. Then, twenty-two years later, Rosie's suitcase shows up behind a fireplace in a derelict house on Faithful Place, and Frank is going home whether he likes it or not. Getting sucked in is a lot easier than getting out again. Frank finds himself straight back in the dark tangle of relationships he left behind. The cops working the case want him out of the way, in case loyalty to his family and community makes him a liability. Faithful Place wants him out because he's a detective now, and the Place has never liked cops. Frank just wants to find out what happened to Rosie Daly-and he's willing to do whatever it takes, to himself or anyone else, to get the job done.
I am excited for this book because I have read the previous two Tana French novels. Talk to you about it next week!
Back in 1985, Frank Mackey was nineteen, growing up poor in Dublin's inner city, and living crammed into a small flat with his family on Faithful Place. But he had his sights set on a lot more. He and Rosie Daly were all ready to run away to London together, get married, get good jobs, break away from factory work and poverty and their old lives. But on the winter night when they were supposed to leave, Rosie didn't show. Frank took it for granted that she'd dumped him-probably because of his alcoholic father, nutcase mother, and generally dysfunctional family. He never went home again. Neither did Rosie. Everyone thought she had gone to England on her own and was over there living a shiny new life. Then, twenty-two years later, Rosie's suitcase shows up behind a fireplace in a derelict house on Faithful Place, and Frank is going home whether he likes it or not. Getting sucked in is a lot easier than getting out again. Frank finds himself straight back in the dark tangle of relationships he left behind. The cops working the case want him out of the way, in case loyalty to his family and community makes him a liability. Faithful Place wants him out because he's a detective now, and the Place has never liked cops. Frank just wants to find out what happened to Rosie Daly-and he's willing to do whatever it takes, to himself or anyone else, to get the job done.I am excited for this book because I have read the previous two Tana French novels. Talk to you about it next week!
Sunday, August 29, 2010
First Book of the Week: Finished
Book of the Week: The Lonely Polygamist, by Brady Udall
I finally finished this book. It is 599 pages long! I don't know what it was about this book, but I felt compelled to finish it, even though about half way through I wasn't feeling it.
The book follows the Richards Family. They are a Mormon family in (I think) the 1970's. There is one husband, four wives and 28 children (two that are deceased before the book begins). The father, Golden, his fourth wife, Trish, and his son Rusty with the third wife, are the characters I consider to be the main characters because there are chapters strictly devoted to their points of view.
Golden is struggling in life and faith. He is building a brothel in Nevada, while everyone at home thinks he is building a senior citizen's home. While away from his family in Nevada, he falls for the boss's wife, Huila. They begin an emotional relationship and Huila helps Golden come to terms with the loss of his handicapped daughter, Glory, two years prior. While their relationship never actually becomes physical, Golden still feels guilty that he feels so strongly for this woman that is not his wife.
Trish, the fourth wife, is also in crisis. She grew up in another fundamentalist Mormom sect, but after her father died her mother left the commune and took her children with her. Trish was married to a man named Billy and they had one daughter, Faye, and multiple miscarriages. Billy is a bully, and one day Trish decides to leave. She finds herself in the same church as Golden and his family and one thing leads to another and they become married. She is not happy in her current situation because her and Faye are stuck living in a duplex in town, and she rarely sees Golden because he is away working.
Rusty is Golden's son from his third wife, Rose of Sharon. Rusty hates his family and life. He feels ignored by his family and abandoned by his mother. He is forced to live at the 'Big House' with the first wife and her children, while his mother and the second wife live at 'New House' with all their children. Rusty acts out and has journals of his plans to get back at his family. While out one night, trying to get away from his family, he meets a recluse named June who lives far out of town in an abandoned village where makes fireworks and is working on an elaborate bomb shelter.
The book goes into great detail about how the family came to be and their current situation. There are a ton of characters, and sometimes it is hard to keep track of all of them. I do like how the author mainly focused on one child, instead all of them having a voice in the book. I think it would have been too confusing to have multiple story lines with too many names and personalities to keep track of. The book is slow paced, which at times is a good thing, but other times it doesn't work. For example, the ending could have been wrapped up so much sooner, and the longer it went on the more improbable it seemed to become.
There was one chapter devoted to a nuclear test that was administered by the government in the desert the same day that Golden and his first wife were married. It described how the nuclear cloud came blowing through the town and how it would effect some members in the community years in the future. I was a little confused by this chapter because it didn't seem to have a lot to do with the story, except to explain why some of Golden's children were miscarried, or born with handicaps and that his first wife would later develop lung cancer.
Overall, the book was okay for me. I wish it would have been more fast paced, and not so wordy. Although, I do feel like I know this family, I just don't think I want to. There were a lot of conflicting feelings for me while reading the book. While I felt bad for Golden, I couldn't help but think he got himself into the troubles he was facing. And I did not agree with their lifestyle at all and couldn't understand why anyone would choose that life.
Grade 2 our of 5 stars.
I finally finished this book. It is 599 pages long! I don't know what it was about this book, but I felt compelled to finish it, even though about half way through I wasn't feeling it.
The book follows the Richards Family. They are a Mormon family in (I think) the 1970's. There is one husband, four wives and 28 children (two that are deceased before the book begins). The father, Golden, his fourth wife, Trish, and his son Rusty with the third wife, are the characters I consider to be the main characters because there are chapters strictly devoted to their points of view.
Golden is struggling in life and faith. He is building a brothel in Nevada, while everyone at home thinks he is building a senior citizen's home. While away from his family in Nevada, he falls for the boss's wife, Huila. They begin an emotional relationship and Huila helps Golden come to terms with the loss of his handicapped daughter, Glory, two years prior. While their relationship never actually becomes physical, Golden still feels guilty that he feels so strongly for this woman that is not his wife.
Trish, the fourth wife, is also in crisis. She grew up in another fundamentalist Mormom sect, but after her father died her mother left the commune and took her children with her. Trish was married to a man named Billy and they had one daughter, Faye, and multiple miscarriages. Billy is a bully, and one day Trish decides to leave. She finds herself in the same church as Golden and his family and one thing leads to another and they become married. She is not happy in her current situation because her and Faye are stuck living in a duplex in town, and she rarely sees Golden because he is away working.
Rusty is Golden's son from his third wife, Rose of Sharon. Rusty hates his family and life. He feels ignored by his family and abandoned by his mother. He is forced to live at the 'Big House' with the first wife and her children, while his mother and the second wife live at 'New House' with all their children. Rusty acts out and has journals of his plans to get back at his family. While out one night, trying to get away from his family, he meets a recluse named June who lives far out of town in an abandoned village where makes fireworks and is working on an elaborate bomb shelter.
The book goes into great detail about how the family came to be and their current situation. There are a ton of characters, and sometimes it is hard to keep track of all of them. I do like how the author mainly focused on one child, instead all of them having a voice in the book. I think it would have been too confusing to have multiple story lines with too many names and personalities to keep track of. The book is slow paced, which at times is a good thing, but other times it doesn't work. For example, the ending could have been wrapped up so much sooner, and the longer it went on the more improbable it seemed to become.
There was one chapter devoted to a nuclear test that was administered by the government in the desert the same day that Golden and his first wife were married. It described how the nuclear cloud came blowing through the town and how it would effect some members in the community years in the future. I was a little confused by this chapter because it didn't seem to have a lot to do with the story, except to explain why some of Golden's children were miscarried, or born with handicaps and that his first wife would later develop lung cancer.
Overall, the book was okay for me. I wish it would have been more fast paced, and not so wordy. Although, I do feel like I know this family, I just don't think I want to. There were a lot of conflicting feelings for me while reading the book. While I felt bad for Golden, I couldn't help but think he got himself into the troubles he was facing. And I did not agree with their lifestyle at all and couldn't understand why anyone would choose that life.
Grade 2 our of 5 stars.
Friday, August 27, 2010
Interesting Errand
Word of the Day: Schlep (to carry or lug; to move slowly, awkwardly or tediously)
Song of the Day: Scissor Sisters, I Don't Feel Like Dancin'
I now have my own computer so I will be able to post more blogs. YAY for me! And YAY for you! People watching today involved a kid on a motorized bike and a woman who forgot her baby in the car while shopping in Verizon.
Kid on the moped: Riding his bike across busy intersections and never stopping. My friend started to turn and he wasn't stopping. You should have seen the sheer terror on his face!! Keep in mind we did not hit him, but when he realized that we might not stop, I think he saw his life flash before his eyes.
Then we were in Verizon for a good half hour along with a woman and her two kids. I was at the counter and she was next to me and the next thing I know she's running out of the store leaving two kids behind. Then the son said that she forgot his sister in the car!! I'm assuming it was a baby since there was such panic. Then the mom sent the older daughter into the store to get her purse, because I'm assuming, she was too embarrassed to come back in. Hope she got her phone problem fixed!
Song of the Day: Scissor Sisters, I Don't Feel Like Dancin'
I now have my own computer so I will be able to post more blogs. YAY for me! And YAY for you! People watching today involved a kid on a motorized bike and a woman who forgot her baby in the car while shopping in Verizon.
Kid on the moped: Riding his bike across busy intersections and never stopping. My friend started to turn and he wasn't stopping. You should have seen the sheer terror on his face!! Keep in mind we did not hit him, but when he realized that we might not stop, I think he saw his life flash before his eyes.
Then we were in Verizon for a good half hour along with a woman and her two kids. I was at the counter and she was next to me and the next thing I know she's running out of the store leaving two kids behind. Then the son said that she forgot his sister in the car!! I'm assuming it was a baby since there was such panic. Then the mom sent the older daughter into the store to get her purse, because I'm assuming, she was too embarrassed to come back in. Hope she got her phone problem fixed!
Thursday, August 26, 2010
Hilarious
Word of the Day: Orthoepy (the study of correct pronunciation)
Song of the Day: Maroon 5, She Will Be Loved
I have frequently been told that I am funny, which I take as a huge compliment and the best thing about me. And I have decided that I am going to take more advantage of this. I constantly have running monologues, scenarios and jokes going on in my head. So often is the case that I laugh harder than the situation calls for, or I am alone and start laughing to myself! Case in point. I don't know if you have read The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo (and if you haven't, you should) but the author constantly made mention of the characters eating sandwiches and drinking coffee. CONSTANTLY! I never said anything to anyone else that has the read the book, but it's always struck me as funny. So imagine my surprise when I was on my frequented EW.com website and found the following article under their 'Popwatch' blog.
http://popwatch.ew.com/2010/08/23/the-girl-with-the-dragon-tattoo-is-secretly-just-about-eating-sandwiches/
And Margaret Lyons gets paid to have these opinions and ideas and clever commentaries!! Imagine if I could start writing what I think and make people laugh.
Song of the Day: Maroon 5, She Will Be Loved
I have frequently been told that I am funny, which I take as a huge compliment and the best thing about me. And I have decided that I am going to take more advantage of this. I constantly have running monologues, scenarios and jokes going on in my head. So often is the case that I laugh harder than the situation calls for, or I am alone and start laughing to myself! Case in point. I don't know if you have read The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo (and if you haven't, you should) but the author constantly made mention of the characters eating sandwiches and drinking coffee. CONSTANTLY! I never said anything to anyone else that has the read the book, but it's always struck me as funny. So imagine my surprise when I was on my frequented EW.com website and found the following article under their 'Popwatch' blog.
http://popwatch.ew.com/2010/08/23/the-girl-with-the-dragon-tattoo-is-secretly-just-about-eating-sandwiches/
And Margaret Lyons gets paid to have these opinions and ideas and clever commentaries!! Imagine if I could start writing what I think and make people laugh.
Thursday, August 19, 2010
Brand New Day
Word of the Day: Titivate (to make or become smart or spruce)
Song of the Day: Joshua Radin, Brand New Day
Lyrics
Some kind of magic
Happens late at night
When the moon smiles down on me
And bathes me in it’s light
I fell asleep beneath you
In the tall blades of grass
When I woke the world was new
I never had to ask
It’s a brand new day
The sun is shinning
It’s a brand new day
For the first time
In such a long long time
I know I’ll be okay
Most kind of stories
Save the best part for last
Most stories have a hero who finds
You make your past your past
Yeah you make your past your past
It’s a brand new day
The sun is shinning
It’s a brand new day
For the first time
In such a long long time
I know I’ll be okay
This cycle never ends
Gotta fall in order to mend
And it’s a brand new day
It’s a brand new day
For the first time
In such a long long time
I know I’ll be okay
I recently found the artist Joshua Radin and he is so amazing!! I absolutely love this song, it's so hopeful and encouraging. I didn't post a video because I think you should listen to it without any distractions!
Song of the Day: Joshua Radin, Brand New Day
Lyrics
Some kind of magic
Happens late at night
When the moon smiles down on me
And bathes me in it’s light
I fell asleep beneath you
In the tall blades of grass
When I woke the world was new
I never had to ask
It’s a brand new day
The sun is shinning
It’s a brand new day
For the first time
In such a long long time
I know I’ll be okay
Most kind of stories
Save the best part for last
Most stories have a hero who finds
You make your past your past
Yeah you make your past your past
It’s a brand new day
The sun is shinning
It’s a brand new day
For the first time
In such a long long time
I know I’ll be okay
This cycle never ends
Gotta fall in order to mend
And it’s a brand new day
It’s a brand new day
For the first time
In such a long long time
I know I’ll be okay
I recently found the artist Joshua Radin and he is so amazing!! I absolutely love this song, it's so hopeful and encouraging. I didn't post a video because I think you should listen to it without any distractions!
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
Tuesday, Only Tuesday
Word of the Day: Contretemps (an embarrassing mischance)
Song of the Day: Sara Bareilles, King of Anything
Book of the Week: The Lonely Polygamist, by Brady Udall
Beautifully written, keenly observed, and ultimately redemptive, "The Lonely Polygamist" is an unforgettable story of an American family--with its inevitable dysfunctionality, heartbreak, and comedy--pushed to its outer limits.I will talk about this book, once I've finished it, by this time next week. So far, so good!
Saturday, August 14, 2010
Revelation
Word of the Day: Happiness (good fortune; pleasure; contentment; joy)
Song of the Day: Glee Cast, Lean on Me
Today I went to my friend, Susan's, wedding shower. It was a lot of fun and very nice. I've been friends with Susan since third grade (that would be 17 years!) and I am so glad that we are still friends. I also got to hang out with a few of my other friends; Sarah, Andrea and Caitlin. I am just suddenly overcome with thankfulness and joy that I have the friends I have. They've been there for me in hard times, fun times and just in between times. I believe God puts certain people in your life for reasons that are sometimes unknown to us, but in my case my friends are there to make me laugh, make me cry, remember stories, to grow with, to be taught lessons and to talk to. I love them all SO MUCH!!!
Song of the Day: Glee Cast, Lean on Me
Today I went to my friend, Susan's, wedding shower. It was a lot of fun and very nice. I've been friends with Susan since third grade (that would be 17 years!) and I am so glad that we are still friends. I also got to hang out with a few of my other friends; Sarah, Andrea and Caitlin. I am just suddenly overcome with thankfulness and joy that I have the friends I have. They've been there for me in hard times, fun times and just in between times. I believe God puts certain people in your life for reasons that are sometimes unknown to us, but in my case my friends are there to make me laugh, make me cry, remember stories, to grow with, to be taught lessons and to talk to. I love them all SO MUCH!!!
Friday, August 13, 2010
Children
Word of the Day: Bellwether (one that takes the lead or initiative)
Song of the Day: Matthew Morrison performing Over the Rainbow
Today, while standing in line at Chipotle, there was a mom in front of me holding her baby. He was probably about 7-8 months (I am bad about guessing baby ages!) He was so cute, he kept looking at me, so I started making funny faces trying to get him to smile. It took a little while, but I did it! Now, he didn't know what he was smiling at, and I didn't really either. Keep in mind, I was still in public so I didn't want to make too much of a fool out of myself. But there was a sense of accomplishment when he cracked that smile. What is it about babies and kids that makes adults work that hard to see a smile?!
Song of the Day: Matthew Morrison performing Over the Rainbow
Today, while standing in line at Chipotle, there was a mom in front of me holding her baby. He was probably about 7-8 months (I am bad about guessing baby ages!) He was so cute, he kept looking at me, so I started making funny faces trying to get him to smile. It took a little while, but I did it! Now, he didn't know what he was smiling at, and I didn't really either. Keep in mind, I was still in public so I didn't want to make too much of a fool out of myself. But there was a sense of accomplishment when he cracked that smile. What is it about babies and kids that makes adults work that hard to see a smile?!
Tuesday, August 10, 2010
Day One
Well, it's taken me long enough, but I can now start my project.
Word of the day: Truculent (aggressively hostile; belligerent)
Song of the day: Train, Words
I wasn't actively people watching today, but there was an old couple in front of me, walking. They were probably in their 80's and the wife had a cane so the husband was walking slowly beside her. And the husband reached over and gently rubbed her back. It was so sweet! I wondered if she felt anything when he did. I wondered if it was something he did often and she was used to it or she still felt something. I hope she noticed, and I hope it made her smile.
Word of the day: Truculent (aggressively hostile; belligerent)
Song of the day: Train, Words
I wasn't actively people watching today, but there was an old couple in front of me, walking. They were probably in their 80's and the wife had a cane so the husband was walking slowly beside her. And the husband reached over and gently rubbed her back. It was so sweet! I wondered if she felt anything when he did. I wondered if it was something he did often and she was used to it or she still felt something. I hope she noticed, and I hope it made her smile.
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